Goals Setting

I just want to work hard, make money, settle down and eat with good people.

I just want to love the same man over and over again.

This is just perfectly fine for me.

Not too big yet not too small for a minimalist person like me.

Isn't it cool that one day you might have little people running around your house that are half you and half the person you love.

Back to 2003 

"Cita-cita nak jadi apa?"

*Selak kamus bergambar*

"Saya nak jadi attendant yang kerja dengan ambulans tu"

*Cikgu Wan terkelu*

Now 365/365 of 2014

"Dulu cakap nak jadi ambulans punya attendant"

"People change la mak. Public prosecutor sounds cool"
"Abang cer awak tengok anak awak ni"

"Abah tak nak rumah besar, Cukup ada bilik, dapur, ruang tamu dan ruang untuk cucuk tanam."

"Untuk tanam je ke abah? Habis tu ayam ayam nak dok mana"

This is perfect. A pretty house and a space to run.

Travel in a low budget with the right person. Ain't that sounds great?

Imagine you're at home and someone asks you to grab your passport and phone.

"Let's have a great escape."

I need to adjust many things for now and it takes time.
I need to count every and each blessings in life so that I know I will be happy even just for a moment.
Goals come in many forms, bukannya tertumpu pada duit or how well you do in your job.
It all depends on how big your dream and desire to live well.

Intimacy

Intimacy is not who you let to touch you.
It is not always about sex and the desire to have each other physically.
It is not always about being naked or exposing yourself to your partner.

It is the exposure of your very own self either in a good way or in a bad way, mentally.
It is being naked in telling your deepest fear without any compromise.
It is the feeling of satisfaction in delivering your own emotions and thoughts to someone else.
It is always about having a connection with one particular person that you barely get from anyone else.
It is the sense of belonging to someone else.

However, intimacy is always based on trust between two parties.
Trust is the basis in every kind of relationship.
It is the hardest thing to get yet the easiest one to be broken.

Blog Your Heart Out

"You suka buat apa other than reading?"

"I love to write. Idk why"

"I suka pendam and tak suka tulis or type apa yang I rasa, and tak tahu kenapa"

"Seriously? Kalau I tak suka pendam"

"It's okay one day I cakap apa yang I pendam and you tulis, how about that?"

Due to banjir, sekolah and any lectures yang start 5 haribulan will be postponed to 12th January 2015.

Somehow I feel sad and I don't know why,

Memang lah kelas lapan sampai enam penat tapi kalau benda tu kau suka, no matter how hard and difficult the situation, kau telan je.

This sem sumpah padat gila sebab tambah satu subjek, kalau total up ada 8 subjek.

4 subjek law, 2 subjek english, ekonomi and CTU.

If last sem subjek english paling tak stress and pergh sumpah best gila,

but this sem YA ALLAH STRESS NYA ENGLISH JE PUN.

ELC092 and ELC093.

ELC092 okay lagi belajar pasal speaking and takda problem pun so far.

Yang problemnya ELC093.

Madam akan kasi something like a picture and describe it in full details.

Gambar dia semua jenis yang deep deep gila sampai satu masa Adib tak tahan, dia cakap "Sorry madam but this picture is too deep" (sambil geleng geleng kepala)

Sumpah satu kelas gelak time tu hahaha <3

Yang ajar nya senior lecturer and she's an indian, so kau faham lah slang dia cana.

Ngantuk tu jangan cakap masyallah nak makan pun tak boleh, dia warning siap siap.

But one thing I like about her is that dia suka kasi something behind all the things yang dia cakap.

"Try to structure your thoughts and pour it on paper, either by typing it or writing the sentences."

"Believe it or not when you type or write, you tend to be more creative and more concentrate on what you're going to write down."

I support you madam, no doubt, 100%.

Mula mula bila nak buat essay ke, even blog sekalipun, kita mesti fikir 2 3 kali,

Sure ke nak tulis ni macam takda isi sangat je.

Cuba try to be more organized and jot down all the points and ideas you got.

From that you will be able to see how far you can go.

Hidden Dream

"Aye girl tell me your biggest dream"

I want to sit with someone at 3 am on the rooftop and talk, really talk. I want that particular person to tell me what keeps him up at night and the dream he keeps having. I want him to tell me what certain songs make him feels like and his metaphysical speculation of the perplex idea of God and heaven. Talk to me about his biggest fear and every twisted frightened thoughts he ever had. I want his words to tear my skin apart and his eyes to crack my bones.

I just want to deeply converse with him.

Goals for 2015

(( heavily breathing ))

Since I'm done with "to all the boy's I've loved before", currently right now I'm reading "if i stay & where she went" and next "WINGER".

I know I should make an entry or a little bit of review regarding "to all the boys I've loved before" but yea tengah malas so next time lah lol 

btw as you can see the picture on the above is actually.. what do we call that, goals?

I don't have any relationship goals or life goals, YET.

So yea those are the books I NEED to have in 2015 and yep I won't shop randomly for books, not anymore.

From now on, *hands on chest* I promise myself I'll read each and every single of review and comments before I buy any books, well it's not because before this ada terbeli buku tak best ke apa, tapi nak elak daripada beli a book yang actually ada sequels before that so yea *sigh*.

For instance, accidentally I bought "this is so not happening" without knowing yang sebenarnya there were 2 books behind it so yea pathetic right.

* cries a river *

Life's Trading

u know some people just don't get it

they don't know how much u care
they don't even notice how much u concern about them

like they don't even give u a second glance of the shit u're trying to put in a particular situation

people keep saying "come on girl fight for ur love. what do you have to lose anyway"

you know what I have to lose in every single second fighting for ur attention?

respect.

cut the crap.

I shouldn't trade my respect for a stupid attention.

Fly Baby Fly

pernah tak satu ketika
kau nak semua benda under your very own control?

for instance, kau akan plan betul betul bila ajak semua orang lepak
ah come on, nama pun lepak, bukannya school trip.

lagi satu, kau akan betul betul take care of everything sampai satu ketika orang nampak benda tu obvious and everyone was like "wei chill lah kenapa ni"

dalam hidup ni, kita merancang, tapi Tuhan tentukan segala-galanya.

sometimes, you just have to go with the flow and see how far life can amazes you,
either in a good or bad way, just believe in Him.

He knows the very best :)

Among the wild flowers

Orang cakap "don't let yourself care for someone too much as you will hurt that much too".

but

"If we care things, they will last".

one side only will never work if you know what I mean.

Stop asking, "kau marah aku ke" or "are you okay" or "kenapa tak tanya macam selalu?"

Now I get it, people will start asking when you stop doing.

Tragedy

Never wanted this never wanna see you hurt

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve

But people are people

and sometimes it doesn't work out

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

Mana Pergi

"why do people come and go?"

"diaorang bosan kot."

"somehow i takut pulak kalau u tinggalkan i"

"let's not giving up to each other then"

"okay, let's not giving up to each other"

tak lama lepas tu kau pun blah, apa cer?