Monday, 24 April 2017

Over Again

I don't know if you remember this (Just in case if you read),
but I went to the bakery the one we used to go for breakfast

I ordered my drink and went straight to the second floor,
Too bad the seats we used to have already occupied.

So I chose a table with two seats but it felt strange considering I was alone this time.

Three hours and I realized it was getting dark.
I tried to turn on the study lamp on the table.

It reminded me of you.
The last time we got here you tried so hard to turn on the lamp.

"I paid for this. I deserve to know how it works."
"People are looking at us. They must be wondering who the fuck turn a lamp when it is not dark"
"No. Come on help me"




It was stupid, really.

But I realized I miss those moments, not only that particular moment but all the minutes and second we spent even if it was just for a short time.

Too bad we could never experience all of that over again.

Serendipity

It is going to be a month and a half before I go back to Malaysia.
and my parents came here to visit me in Manila 2 weeks ago.

I'm in between of staying here and wanna go back to my country cause I MISS SPICY FOOD IN MALAYSIA.

Part of me says "Go back and graduate from your law school. You can always come back here and maybe settle down and start a family or something, I don't know but you can always come back here"

Ever since I came here I feel so much happier.
It is not that I wasn't happy in Malaysia.

Back in Malaysia, I got everything.
That's the reason I applied for an exchange programme, I really wanna stay out of my comfort zone.

This is because at some point of my life, I would like to feel and experience how to live in a hard way.
I wanna see how these people grow and expand in terms of their study, economics, developments etc.

It's true when people ask "We believe Malaysia is better than here so why would you choose to study here"

I believe in God.
I believe the reasons he put me here.
I believe all the difficulties of living here leading me to somewhere.

I believe why He put me in a catholic country in the first place when people were arguing my religious belief would be in devastation when I come here.

There's not so much difference compared to Malaysia that is full of people practising Islamic view,
it is just, people here are, nice?

I'm not saying my own people is bad or something, it is just for the first time in my life I'm not afraid to get lost in a foreign land cause people here are free to answer any of my stupid questions.

No stupid lies, no silly judgements etc.
They always try to help a foreigner like me eventhough some of them are not really fluent in English but that's ok.

I will try to update more and I know this entry is kind of ridiculous cause I didn't get to organize it at first.
I have final this Wednesday and let's just hope for the best before I go back to Malaysia.

(There's so much to see here like I haven't gone to the beach but Peter's girlfriend texted me just now asking if I want to go with them to the beach next week omg I'm so excited)


Thursday, 6 April 2017

Late Night Snacks

I know I should be happy right now because my parents are coming to spend their time during the easter break.
It's just I feel a little bit regret cause I could actually go back to Malaysia for a week instead they coming here.

I don't have any bad intention or malicious thinkings.
I just miss Malaysia's food hahahahahaha.

I know I sound stupid but IT HAS BEEN 4 MONTHS SINCE I EAT SPICY FOOD AND I CAN'T STAND ANYMORE.

Goodnight everyone and have a good rest xx

Monday, 3 April 2017

so-called Boyfriend

"Your parents gave u a pair of wings and all you do now is limiting yourself in his cage"
- Hanini, 2k17

.................................................................................

This is so true.
I mean you could argue with the statement by saying "Oh uh you know nothing about love. The last relationship that you had was like, what, 4 months? Ha Ha"

Ha Ha to you girl, you just make food of yourself.
Yes the only relationship I had was lasted only for four months and that was because I KNEW BACK THEN I DIDN'T WANT TO SETTLE FOR LESS HA HA NOW"

At least my parents taught me which one is love, and which one JUST-YOU-BEING-AN-IDIOT-OBEYING-YOUR-SO-CALLED-BOYFRIEND.

I have received so many situations like this like "I can't do this or I can't wear this" and when I asked them why they will simply say "because my boyfriend doesn't like it or he will get mad" bla bla

and the worst case is when THEY SIMPLY ASK THEIR BOYFRIEND'S PERMISSION WTF THIS IS ALREADY 2K17 UGH I WANNA SLAP YOUR FACE ALL THE WAY TO YOUR GRAVE IF I COULD.

The point is, don't put yourself in a relationship where your significant other limit you in everything you want to achieve, that is so unhealthy.

Take my advice, don't settle for less.
Don't settle for someone who doesn't give the goddamn freedom you are entitled to.
Who are they? The Constitution? The Supreme Court? That you have to obey all the time? That's a total bullshit.

Be with someone that wishes to see you shining bright like a diamond.
Be with someone that actually doesn't take away your liberties.

It is not always the question whether he is the right person or not.
It is the issue whether he respects you just like how you wanted him to be.