If I wrote it in a book,

could I shelve it?

If I told of what you took,

would that help it?

If I will it,

can I un-feel it,

now I've felt it?

- After You

12 Steps

Kamusta po.

So I was watching A Walk Among The Tombstones.

You should really watch cause it's a really goooooooooooood movie.

It's a bloodbath if you ask me, like they got blood here and there.

But in the movie, what caught me are the 12 steps that they mentioned in the AA meeting (Well google AA meeting if you have no idea about it)

Step 8 :

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step 9 :

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Aren't those two beautiful?

I mean, everyone and not just alcoholic should be reminded of those two steps.

Kamusta!

So I woke up at 2PM today.

Correction : I woke up to two surprises (good news actually)

So for the past few weeks I've been hoping for SHARE Scholarship to choose me as a representative from Malaysia for the next conference and guess what, I'M IN.

To be honest it has been such a really long time to receive this kind of letter with that heading T_T

So I went to the first conference which held in PH in 2017.

The 2nd conference was August this year and I didn't get the chance to attend.

So I heard there's another conference in October and one of the requirements to be chosen is I must be a participant of at least one of the previous conferences.

Can't wait to explore Bangkok as this will be my first time visiting Thailand!

Tapos na! :)

Am I not over you, if the thought of you still causes me pain?

My fingertips are crumbling with the ache of wanting to touch you.

Well you have always been my favourite almost.

You and I are never us, we are just a complicated series of almost interactions.

My heart aches in corners I did not know existed all this time.

It seemed the gray world was aching in discomfort and so do I.

Mood : Fallon Carrington

The thing is, it's not that people stop dating each other.

If you ask me, of course I want a partner.

It's just that, the idea of having a partner itself is hard.

"How's your ideal boyfriend?"

A person that I don't have to worry about.

Meaning that a person that I don't have any doubt when it comes to making decision.

A person that doesn't give me doubt when he says "hey I'm going out with my friends" or "I'm a bit busy" 

Like if he says he's busy working, that means he's working.

If he says he's with friends, it means he's with his friends and not banging other woman.

You see, if you ask me, it takes a lot of courage and liability to have a partner.

You don't want to invest your money and time into a person that simply waste what you give to them.

A partner should not be the person that you have to worry about so that you can focus on other things like your study, your work and other stuff.

It's just that I'm writing this so that I make myself clear in case someone saying I'm being a choosy folk.

Call it what you want, I got dreams to pursue.

⚠️