Fearless

Everyone craves for that one particular person that is always afraid to lose her or him.
We starve for our partner or spouse not to giving up on us.
We thirst for something that we could hold on when everything seems to fall apart.

We look upon a person that could actually take our hands and says "you're perfectly my style."
We keep on searching a human that could take all the pains away and endure the disabilities that we have in ourselves.

Have you ever crossed on your mind, why not us be that person?

Believe it or not, it is more afraid to lose ourselves lost in thought not knowing either it is right or wrong.
It is scary actually to give up upon ourselves before we give up on others.
We never knew that we could actually hold on to anything that keep the happiness exist.

Yet, we still need a person that could tell us how beautiful we are when we ourselves could actually stand in front of the mirror and say "i know myself enough that i deserve the very best."

Why would we need another person to bring away all the dismays and misery when they don't even know all the shit that actually happened in our life?

Stop asking and wishing for anyone to make you alive.
Count every blessing that you have for now and move forward.
At the end of the day, there's no one else stand for you except you yourself.

To The Beautiful Childhood

back to 8 years ago

"Asal sikit main lego."

"Jom la main basikal."

"Macam nak hujan je."

*kilat sambung-menyambung*

"eee kilat!"

*aku cepat-cepat tutup kedua-dua belah telinga*

"eeeyy jangan buat camtu!"

*dia tarik dua-dua belah tangan aku*

"kalau tutup telinga masa kilat atau guruh, nanti boleh pekak."

But he never knew despite the fear I got from the lightning and thunderstorm, I was more afraid with all the stupid butterflies that came from nowhere in the inside.

Thinking of my childhood, back in time it was really beautiful when you found such a group of kids that suit yourself at different age.

I strongly believe that childhood is a promise that is never kept.

Till this day bila teringat balik all those stupid things we did together, it does make sense till now although everyone separates in various way.

and till this day, I still have those stupid butterflies.

Mask on

Broken smiles,

Empty eyes,

Shattered hearts,

and hollow lives.

Put on your mask honey.

Prepare your lies.

They'll never see through your disguise.

Burning Red

Losing him was blue like I'd never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met

But loving him was red.

Burning Low

"I broke up with him"

"Like seriously?"

"I dumped him."

"You declared it?"

"Yes. Like I knew everything is completely over."

Basically, how do you know when it's over? Maybe when you feel more in love with memories than with the person standing in front of you now. It's like you're craving for something to be fixed while that particular person sees everything is alright. You're the only one who knows something has gone so wrong and you try to put things back to their places but then you have no idea how to deal with it because it's you, the only person that realizes everything is totally messed up. So you're going to sit there blaming yourself for the whole shit and the person asks if you're okay, you lie. You're not trying to run from the problems. You're just tired and sad. No ones understand you, at all. Everyone that told you they will be there for you no matter what turns to become a complete stabber. You have no one else now except yourself. The last choice you have is to end everything knowing both of you will get hurt. The worst part when you yourself, the only person who could feel the pain deep inside your chest but you tell no one. 

br (( ok )) en

"Med, kau kat mana?"

"Syurga"

It sounds stupid at first tapi baru sekarang aku faham kenapa amed selalu jawab macam tu.

It's like you're craving for a place that doesn't getting you hurt,
A place that is meant for serendipity,
A place that no ones can break your heart into tiny little pieces.

Simply because you're already broken.

In the end of the day everyone knew that there is no place such heaven unless if we are truly dead.
It's like you're homesick for a place that doesn't even exist, yet.

Euthanasia

Haritu aku ada tanya Madam Atifah time tutorial :

"Madam, recently I brought my kittens jumpa vet and I consult dengan dia about my cat yang sakit and dah tak boleh nak buat apa dah and he told me about euthanasia which is Harus in our religion so why we still cannot legalize it for humans?"

"You need to understand. Basically this thing is okay when it comes to animals tapi untuk manusia it is a big no-no. Haiwan bila dah mati will straight to heaven tapi manusia?"

So basically, euthanasia is the painless killing of a patient suffering from an incurable and painful disease or in an irreversible coma.

So apa yang aku faham dari explanation madam, she tried to tell me the person who is going to carry out the euthanasia for someone else is not the one who judge the person kat akhirat nanti so why would he or she be the one who in charge untuk tamatkan riwayat seseorang right?

Kangen

"Incest, surrogate, gay..apa lagi?"

"Haip jangan bias. Kau langgar rule of justice tau!"

"Dammit."

.............................................................................................................

"I taught my sons to smoke, go to club..yada yadaaa"

"Holy shit apa benda aku belajar ni"

.............................................................................................................

"30 marks means you have to use DICER for part C"

"dah banyak kali aku dengar perempuan ni bebel natang dicer tu"

"It stands for definition, issue, classification, experts say, relation kan?"

.............................................................................................................

"Gano ore nak cakap ni kes criminal? Dok pehe"

"Syasya nampok dop yang involve tu public prosecutor? Taraa automatik dia criminal case"

.............................................................................................................

"Soalan mintak define subsidiary legislative and aku just terlupa letak under section 9 of intrepretation act and dia terus kasi 0? What the.."

"What do you expect bro"

.............................................................................................................

"Aku dah lupa cana kau ajar APA & MLA, cana laaa kau boleh suka"

"I was a librarian, remember? Hehe"

.............................................................................................................

"Gi cafe nak makan apa?"

"Nasi ayam and bahagian wing ofcourse"

"Tapi bahagian wing bahaya sebab part ayam kena inject"

"Gi mampos aku lapar"

.............................................................................................................

"John suka nachos, nak nachos bawah tu"

"Sorry teah tak suka cheese. Don't talk to me about nachos"

.............................................................................................................

"Aaaa aku kan kan cuba tau aaaa aku try..."

"Amende kau merepek ni dinie"

( (  gagap  ) )

.............................................................................................................

"Aku rasa malas"

"Gi usha bilik pikah. Confirm kau insecure"

siapa tak rindu court?

the only place yang boleh settle down semua problem.

sir rosdin the legend. 

i clearly remember how he reminded us to be organized in whatever stuff we're doing.

thanks sir, you're the legend.

oh hi yeah that's me got prob?

god please next sem nak ground floor lagi simply because i hate stairs.

selain gayat.

well excuse me this picture was taken before aku pergi exam law016.

tau semak takyah kabor ke aku.

selalunya tak camni.

semak tapi lawa en en.

nota fundamental liberties.

there you go the greatest people around me.

rindu.

glad to hear next sem kelas tak tukar.

the class is suck but i kinda like it.

yeayyy it's syasya, roomate dari kelantan.

the only person yang suka remind me hantar dobi, lunch :)

-end-

Dear self

Don't just fall yet,

Pull yourself together.

Swift

Swift was inspired to write "Teardrops on My Guitar" about her experience with a boy named Drew Hardwick, a classmate of hers whom she had feelings for. Hardwick, later went on to join the Navy. During their freshman year of high school at Hendersonville High School, Swift and Hardwick sat beside each other in a class everyday. The two developed a fond friendship, although Swift secretively desired for it to become a romantic relationship. Because of Hardwick's unawareness, he would frequently speak to Swift about a girl he had feelings for, something Swift pretended to be endeared by, commenting, "How beautiful she was, how nice and smart and perfect she was. And I sat there and listened, never meaning it any of the times I said 'Oh, I'm so happy for you.' Hardwick and his love interest eventually developed a relationship which lasted for a few years. Swift never confessed her feelings to him. By the release of Taylor Swift, he remained unaware of Swift's intentions or the song and continued his relationship with the same female. Upon "Teardrops on My Guitar"'s release as a single, Hardwick attempted to contact Swift via phone calls, which Swift did not respond to; he then left voicemails, but Swift felt too awkward to call back.

- Tyler Hilton

Two years after the album's release, as she was leaving her house to attend a Nashville Predators hockey game with Kellie Pickler and Carrie Underwood, Hardwick appeared at her driveway. A car parked and, out of it, exited Hardwick and a friend of his. After two and a half years of not speaking, the two conversed: "He was like, 'Hey, how's it going?' And I'm like, 'Wow, you're late. Good to see you.' But we were civilized." Swift conjectured multiple theories as to why Hardwick appeared at her house. One of them was that he was attempting to prove to his friend that he was indeed the subject of "Teardrops on My Guitar". Other possibilities was that he wanted to amend their friendship or believed Swift was still pining away from him. Swift said it would have been poetic if he approached her upon the album's release and she would have accepted, but that she had already moved on. Swift cited "Teardrops on My Guitar" as an example of how she expresses her sentiments in songs and sometimes in no other manner. She was not afraid of using Hardwick's first name on the track and, therefore, believed it was very honest and susceptible, something she adored.

Source : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teardrops_on_My_Guitar

gone

why would we never knew what we got till it's gone?
how could i carry on
the day you went away

cause i've been missing you so much i have to say
been crying since the day
the day you went away

-M2M

Pain

You know what.
We are all addicted to something that could take all the pains away.

We are all still attached to the past that keep haunting us with a good sense that we need.

We are all attracted to those people that built such a good memory in our life.

Even that particular person is a stranger to us right now.

Betul cakap amed.
We don't miss the person or the people. We miss all the memories that been created together.

At the end of the day, believe it or not we are all craving for the presence of that person.
Bullshit semua nya.

Pedih

"Pernah tak kau rindu someone tu.."

"Pernah."

"Bodoh. Aku tak habis cakap lagi. Pernah tak kau rindu someone tu even kau tahu dia tak ambik port pasal kau pun."

"Itu bodoh namanya."

"Babi."

"Tapi aku selalu je buat."

"Pedih en."

Med

We all have that one friend yang nampak super gila ganas kat luar.

Deep down to her or his heart, ada sekelumit rasa kasih sayang yang tak pernah diutarakan.

Thanks Amed, for making my birthday worth a thousand appreciation.
Prank, layan aku buat benda bosan, last minute plan sewa kereta, kereta pulak rosak, tukar kereta lain, cari Foodalicious, Foodalicious pulak tutup, belanja aku makan nasi arab kat zam zam, drive pergi palam.

(( Banyak lagi sebenarnya aku terhutang budi kat kau, tapi skop entry kali ni menjurus kepada birthday aku. ))

I'm happy, can't put it into words.