Monday, 29 June 2015

Don't Be.

A friend told me it's okay not to be okay.
However it is clearly not okay when you hang on to something that is clearly not there and the worst part when you shut every other possibilities.

"I'm not asking you to wake up tomorrow and replacing him eventually. I'm asking you to keep the memories but if someone else comes along don't let it hold you down."

He told me to treat the memories as a book.

Sometimes you grab that book from your shelf.
and read it in a various moods : happy, sad, exciting, painful etc.

But remember the book is still part of your book shelf.
and keep filling your book shelf with another books.

This is because when other people come to your house and asking about your bookshelf,
You're not going to tell them this : Oh I only like this book so I don't care if the shelf is empty and I'm just gonna keep one book on it.

He asked me why hanging on to uncertainty especially one that has proven it didn't work in the past.

I just don't know anymore.

Friday, 26 June 2015

That is sooooo Teah!

Maybe dari awal lagi since Alam tegur "Teah, friendly reminder. Your email needs to sound more serious in the future. Dinie, yours too."

The thing is pagi tadi around 10clock and obviously tak bangun lagi (it's puasa month k), ada orang call and obviously terus angkat tak tengok number but I was pretty sure +03 which means nombor KL.

"Hello..ini Nurul..."
"Ha siapa ni?"

OMG MANNERS MAKETH MAN DOH TEAH SALAM KAU MANA.

"Orang perak ni tapi kenapa IC 38? Bukan ke 08?"
"Oh saya ni special sikit kihkihkih"

"Ambik law kan, Ada apply mana?"
"First choice UKM, second saya apply UiTM"

"Boleh datang iv next week? 1 haribulan"
"Eh boleh boleh" - lepas dia mention the amount of money heh.

and the best part bila "Ni email Nurul ya, saya nak ulang. L...I....L...I...T...H... err kenapa susah sangat nak sebutnya? Lilithsalvatore kan?"
"Oh maaf maaf itu bukan official email" - cliche!

Told mom right after dia hang up and she told me the same thing suruh tukar email just in case in the future nanti nak pakai takda lah macam "eh awak ni tengok vampire diaries ehh salvatore bagai".



Doakan xx

Sunday, 14 June 2015

Witness to Murderer

When someone is not happy with his or her marriage, they tend to cheat on their partners.
That could be an issue but the thing is, why would you go after a person that is a murderer?

That's the thing in CSI Miami Season 2 : Witness to Murderer.

A girl has been killed and thrown at a river nearby.
Her body gone missing before the autopsy.

Apparently her father stole the body and kept it underneath a table in the house.
But why?

The police found out he cheated with someone that was actually his wife's younger sister.
and the wife never knew that except for their daughter.

"You think I didn't know this? I'm going to tell my mom" the girl told her mom's sister just before she was dead.
The mistress killed her by pushing her to the stairs.

Both of the man and his mistress were charged for murderer.
Poor that little young girl, she was only 16.

A medical examiner told this when they found her body "You shouldn't be here sweety. By this age you should chase after some cute guys and join the cheerleaders."

Saturday, 13 June 2015

Food For Thoughts

Tonight's episode of CSI NY7 : Food for Thoughts wasn't that bad.
A young man was been killed while preparing for food in his truck.

Some civilians were injured luckily no one dead.


Basically, the food truck sells a couple of fast food like nachos and wedges.
Only few people knew the secret code for "I want the special Number 3".

There were 6 food trucks registered under the company (sorry couldn't remember the name of the company).
The victim involved was actually held 50% of the share of one of the truck.

He was actually disagree with the No 3 menu simply because it was a ticket for a customer to sleep with a prostitute with a price of 5 bucks.
Thus, he told his partner "I don't want to sell anything other than food."

But that doesn't make his partner the one who killed him.

Imagine there are two kind of people who sell street food : The one with a big food truck and an old man with his old food kiosk.
Majority will choose the one that looks more classy isn't it?

Therefore, the son of the old man had the motive to kill the competitor of his father's business.
He didn't agree with the No 3 menu but apparently he had killed the wrong person.
He set an explosion behind the food truck.

The victim wasn't agree with the "menu" too but the murderer didn't know this.
Poor young man.

The other thing in this episode was I don't really like Dr Hawke's girlfriend, Camille.
1. She told Hawke to skip his job so that they could spend time together.
2. She pushed Hawke to try weed.
3. She caused Hakwe to get in trouble cause the next morning, a couple of medical officer came by Hawke's office for urine test and Hawke was been selected.

Dr Hawke.

This little bitch? She's Camille. A nurse.

Dear John


The saddest part is when Savannah finally told John about everything. The reason why she married another man when John was away for war.
"You think it was tough out there? Think it was easy for me without you? You thought that every single day wasn't a goddamn marathon of my life without you? I was alone and I had no idea what I was doing."

She tried her best to make the situation better for the sake of the family, for the sake of the little boy to be exact. She married the man thinking she could actually help him to raise the boy. It wasn't that easy as John was not there with her.

Maybe it's true. When we're struggling with something, it is best to see the people around us. We should realize that everyone is struggling too as to them it's just as hard as what we're going through.

p/s I watched this movie long time ago and I barely remember the real plot. It's just that I found some pictures of the movie in Twitter and thought of something : One has to sacrifice.

Friday, 12 June 2015

Flash Pop

Tonight's episode of CSI NY8 was such heartbreaking.
A woman name Jessica was been killed and the weapon used was a wine glass.

She was one of Mac's staff working on DNA and autopsy stuff.
Thus, Mac kind of depressed cause he didn't get to know his staff better and he had this kind of feeling that young lady helped him alot with previous cases his office working on.

and apparently the case was exactly the same with a 1957 case famously known as Lana case.

2012

1957

Both of the victims shared the same kind of similarities in terms of physical appearances.
They had this pair of eyes where one of it was brown in colour and too bad I couldn't remember it's scientific name.


The detective who was in charge for the 1957 case or Lana's case came to Mac's office.
He told Mac altough it has been 55 years and he did not manage to find the murderer, he knew he could contribute something this time.

Back to 55 years ago, the detective was only 22 and the technology they had in lab wasn't that advanced.
He gave Mac a theory of "What colour of lipstick did the victim wear?" cause he knew the fact of both cases were almost the same.

At the end of the episode, it was actually Jessica's besftriend name Kim who killed her.
There were 3 people who managed to pass the examination but the promotion for next position in the lab were only two.

Kim had this kind of jealousy towards Lana about everything.
She told Mac during her confession "I never knew it could be this easy to eliminate Jessica."

Mac looked her in the eyes and told her "It could be easy for you to kill someone. But it must be harder to live in the guilty. I promise you."

That is so true.
I mean how could you kill your own bestfriend and the person you see them everyday in the office?

It just doesn't make sense at all to kill someone just because they are prettier than you.

Kim

Yankee


Dakota Fanning is beautiful ever since she was young :) - Sweet Home Alabama

Thursday, 11 June 2015

Xx

"Why you didn't tell us? You should have told us. You know we've always got your back no matter what. You don't have to go through this yourself."
I don't know man.
I used to tell everyone to stay strong and don't be broken unless you have to.

I used to tell everyone to find their own happiness and keep holding on to whatever that keeps them happy.

I used to tell everyone to always find me no matter how bad the situation was cause I'm always here.


Maybe it's true when people claim those who tell other people to be okay might be the ones who broken the most.

At some point I don't know where to start.
The words don't seem to make sense at all so how do you think I should tell my friends?

I was in a bad shape and devastated of what has happened.
I could see when everyone tried their best to give their advice.

It's not I don't appreciate of what other people done for me.
It's just that sometimes you're too broken to tell anyone about the pieces.

So-called Life Principle

It has been almost 19 years I lived and I have seen so many other people's principle of life.
If there's someone who apparently asking me "What about yours sweety?"

I have no idea what to answer cause I'm not that motivated with my life.
BUT.

Most probably I would be saying this : I don't regret in anything that happens throughout my life, every single thing.

In other words, I don't regret with the choices I made in life either it has lead me to a bad result or a good one.
I don't care and I don't regret cause all of the consequences has built up the inner strength in me.

For example, I kind of disagree when people keep saying "Don't cross the ocean for someone who don't cross the puddle for you" or "Bercinta bagai nak rak sampai beli macam-macam. Aku perhati je sampai bila diaorang bertahan."

People live their life to the fullest, that's what we are supposed to do.
We take chance in everything we have in life or in the future we will regret of not taking the chance that used to have.

It's okay to make effort in something cause you never knew what will happen next.
If it turns out to be a good result, you're going to keep it up.

If it doesn't, you know at least you have tried your best.
Most importantly, you got nothing to lose :)

I don't understand when some people have put themselves in so much things and in the end of the day they simply telling other people "It was all a mistake" as an excuse.

You don't tell people how to live their lives unless you help them to rebuild themselves again.
Stop condemning other people's efforts and start building yours.

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Blessed

It has been a couple of years since the last time balik Felda Ijok.
Kampung belah my mom.

Opah will be like "Deqyah nak ikut Opah?" or "Deqyah cari apa tu mai opah carikan".
Not our biological Opah but she seems like one.
Aki (atuk) decided to remarried right after nenek meninggal.

Baru je sampai malam tu Aki dah suruh makan macam-macam.
"Nak mempelam?" and "Habiskan lauk tu" and "Kek dalam peti ais tu ada Mak Ngah bawak haritu".

Kat kampung tidur awal.
Pukul 10 semua dah lena and bangun subuh and sharp 6.30 dah ada kat dapur tolong Mak, Makngah & Makyang kat dapur buat breakfast.

Awish (anak last Makngah) would enter the kitchen "Mama...Awish nak yuyuteh".
Basically, yuyuteh tu air teh campur susu baby lol idk tho apa rasa dia.

Bila Mak nak prepare buat kek, semua gather around nak tengok.
Basically my little cousins : Mamat, Iman & Awish.

The second day was great.
Bila semua dalam rumah, I decided to help Opah kat luar buang isi perut ikan and basuh ayam.

Lima minit lepas tu Opah jerit "Dia maiiiii dahhh tu diaaa aihhh 6 ekoqqq".
6 ekor kambing sia datang nak makan nasi and daun pokok Opah.

The worst part bila kambing tu datang bawak nyamuk and suka kencing atas selipar.
God Tuan dia sangatlah irresponsible k susah sangat ke nak jaga kambing sendiri?

Then malam tu I decided nak masak maggi.
Then Uda macam pandang je, Makyang pun.

Bagi semua rasa then my little cousin pun pandang je.
5 minit lepastu "Kakayah Awish nak maggi. Awish tak mau sos. Awish tak mau teluq".

Tengah tengah masak kang datang lak "Kakayah Iman nak maggi. Mamat pun."
Gila aku.

The next day pun macam tu.
Awish datang kat aku then "Awish nak teh ais. Nak ais tu"

Tak sampai lima minit mai lagi 2 little cousins mintak benda sama and I was like "Oh God rasa macam ada anak kecik".

The best part bila bawak Opah naik motor sebab hantar lauk kat Cik Cah and Cik Akma.
Sehari sebelum tu bawak Opah naik motor pergi kedai, dalam hujan siot aku rempit dengan Opah.

Bila sampai rumah Mak will be like "Amboi Mak nampak Yah bawak Opah. Melayang Opah kat belakang yer"

and Opah will be like "Deqyah bawak deras!"
Deras deras pun esoknya suruh bawak jugak gi beli breakfast lol :)

Makyang and Mak buat kerja dapur laju gila.
My job tukang kupas bawang and potong benda yang nak ditumis.
Hari tahlil tu jadi department membasuh pinggan dengan Iwan, my younger cousin.

It was great to see semua orang dah besar and saling tolong menolong mana yang mampu.
Aki the best man tho dia suruh Iwan stop basuh pinggan and biar dia take over sinki.

Then the funniest part bila my little cousins and Uda jerit kat ruang tamu "Go Malaysia Go!"
Sambil tengok Sea Games.

Then Makngah will be like "Amboi tengok acara renang pi tutup tv! Tengok seksi buat apa!"
Nahas ler siapa suruh bising cheer lol.

Now dah kat rumah, kind of missing everyone.
Sebelum balik tadi Opah peluk kuat sangat and I told her "Nanti raya balik lagi."

Maybe raya nanti lagi best sebab semua akan balik.
Trek ni macam kurang sebab Paksu and KakRina exam and KokIn tak cuti.
Abang Ijai & Kak Aifa pulak next year baru balik Malaysia.

Stay strong everyone, we always have each others' backs :) 

Thursday, 4 June 2015

Sigh

The most embarrassing moment in my life : I recorded myself lip-sync an indonesian song. I danced to that song to be exact. This happened when I was 10 I guess.


The whole family made fun of me and my sister decided to transfer the video into my brother's laptop just when I tried to delete it.

and thanks to her, the laptop got stolen a couple of weeks after that.

You see. My life has screwed ever since I was young -_-

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Anatomy of A Misfit

Yesterday masa tunggu for my turn untuk interview,
Email masuk kat phone and I was like "dammit is this for real"


Now dah tengok invitation letter baru lah macam "Oh they really invite me"
I didn't expect much from UIA, cause I know I'm not that habibi nak masuk situ haha

Plus requirement nak masuk situ pun quite high so I don't put much hope.
I'm hoping for UKM and UiTM je sekarang but then UIA pulak tiba-tiba out from nowhere.

Whatever it is, yesterday's interview was so cool.
Bertolak dari rumah dalam 6.15am and sampai UKM dalam pukul 10.30am. Awal kan?
Bukan apa, gua ni takut sesat je nasib je gps tu hado.

Then terus daftar semua then hakak kat kaunter tu boleh pulak bagi terus pelekat angka giliran tu.
Yang hakak aku ni pun pandai sangat pergi tampal kat baju, kat PERUT.

MEMANG NAK GI AUDITION MENTOR PUN LEKAT KAT PERUT.

Ayah dalam kereta dah marah marah dah "yang pergi tampal siap tu kenapa pandai sangat"
Then sharp pukul 1 terus pergi tempat ramai ramai tu tengok diaorang lekat cana.

Semua lekat kat bahu k. Bahu. Takda yang gila lekat kat perut.
Pakcik yang berdiri kat tepi family kitaorang tu dah gelak gelak dah tengok kakak try hard nak cabut balik sticker angka giliran tu ya ampun malu.

Then lepas kiss mak abah kakak semua mintak ampunkan dosa (lol) terus gi satu bilik tu.
Dia susun ikut angka giliran, mine 75.

So satu line tu ada 4 meja.
I got a seat between 3 chinese people.
The two chinese guys were so friendly tho, we talked alot when we were barely knew each other.

Then those sneiors pun panggil for the first group untuk interview.
"71 until 75 please" and I was like hahahahahahasetan awal gila.

Apparently I was the last candidate and the only malay in the group.
Yang lain semua chinese so time self introduction tu kena speak malay.

Kau faham tak sekarang ni lepas dah dengar 4 orang sebelum kau cakap malay tapi ada slang and vocab error, so kau yang seterusnya yakni yang paling last ni AKAN TERIKUT SEMUA BENDA TU HAHAHAHASUMPAHTAKKELAKAR.

Next round best. Panel tu suruh bagi suggestion untuk improve the faculty if you're given a chance to lead any clubs.
Those before me semua gempak gempak cakap nak buat charity then siap backup evidence sebab diaorang dah pernah buat semua tu.

Aku? AKU? Takkan nak cakap "I will sponsor a free view for all students in this faculty to watch any crime shows that they love. Oh free popcorns and drinks for sure."

T_________________________________T

Last last dengan yakinnya "There are two main events that I'm pretty sure it will bring benefits not to this faculty only but the whole society at large. First, I will organize an event with my club members to educate the public regarding our social issues simply because we want to create awareness among the soicety on regard to whom they should consult when those social issues ever happened to them."

*Tarik nafas sambil kayuh otak sambil menyumpah diri sebab cakap DUA events*

"The second thing is that me and my team members would glad to persuade the Dean to create a bilateral relation with other universities form the commonwealth countries such as UK so that we may exchange experiences of legal profession simply because we have the same adaptation of administration with them."

Right after cakap thanks and salam semua panels, baru terasa lapar and mengantuk semua.
Apart from penat and lapar, I know it was totally worth.

Those panels were so pretty and friendly.
I knew they were trying not to make us nervous.

Plus other members from my group sangatlah kelakar like after I habis cakap my part, one of them angkat tangan and cakap "Can I add up some points?"

OMG HE TOTALLY GOT BALLS HAHAHAHA SALUTE.

But somehow rasa macam unsettled cause I thought that should be my last interview so that tak payah nak study and update dengan current news.

I asked my brother whether I should go to the uia interview or not since diaorang cakap belajar bahasa arab.

He told me this "If you think it's worth, go for it. If u're not sure but you think oh I got this you better off now and ask other people's opinions. Jangan assume cepat sangat."

Bukannya apa, malas nak susahkan parents.
Dah dua kali pergi dengan diaorang and kesian tengok diaorang penat tunggu and abah kena drive semua.

I don't know how to thank them but I know abah dalam penat semalam dia still senyum bila dapat tau ada another interview.

But I'm totally screwed.