Something Just Like This //

I told my mom semalam yang I dah mula bosan duduk rumah ahaha.

But I've told her in a nice way of course.

I cakap kat dia back in Manila I selalunya kat luar dorm.

Cause most of my friends macam tu.

Like Linda, a friend form Cambodia, she will only stay inside the dorm untuk tidur, mandi and get some rests.

I used to walk with her especially inside the campus. 

I got to say this, UST is the safest place I've been in my entire life.

The security guards are everywhere and they will not let you enter the campus without your student ID, that's the rule so I always had to keep it with me whenever I was outside.

The first time I pergi UST, I was like "oh they have Starbucks inside the campus. Cool"

and also McDonald's (they call it as MakDok), 7 Eleven, IceBergs, Pancake House etc.

I learnt you actually don't need a big campus.

It's not like I'm complaining, UKM is actually too big ahahaha.

We have to travel by cars and if you don't have one, you gotta wait for a bus.

Unlike UST, you just have to walk from block to block.

Everything is inside the campus and for the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed walking around.

Especially with someone.

Yes, I did walking around with a person that I actually liked (past tense) alot.

I still remember there was this one time we decided to have a talk in the middle of the football field.

and 5 minutes later while I was trying to pick the grass, there was this huge spotlight on us and we were like "Oh shit I forgot we couldn't sit around in the middle of the field"

Lot of people do that actually.

Sitting around and walking around with their friends.

I don't get to see that kind of atmosphere in my home university.

and sometimes right after class, I usually decided to hand around before going back to the dorm.

It was either I would go straight to the library to catch up with some notes or went to the nearest Starbucks to get some coffee.

To be honest, when I was in Manila, I enjoyed being alone.

I talked about this with Linda whether it is actually healthy to be alone and she said "Sure. As long as you're not lonely"

Sometimes I would go and get my food alone, I did my laundry without anyone accompanying me.

I walked and done some errands by my own.

Linda did the same too and we actually met when it was time for dinner (usually).

Sure enough I'm actually missing all of these, and I actually have no idea why I put them here haha.

x

The Sandbox Virtues

Here's the thing : with all due respect, guys, I don't think you're always equipped to figure things out on your own.

Sometimes, there's a lot of unnecessary meanness that happen while you're trying to sort who you want to be, who your friends are, who your friends are not.

Adults spend a lot of time talking about bullying in school these days, but the real problem isn't as obvious as one kid throwing a Slurpee in another kid's face. 

It's about social isolation. 

It's about cruel jokes.

It's about the way kids treat one another.

I've seen it with my own eyes, how old friends can turn against each other.

It seems, sometimes, that it's not enough for them to go their separate ways - they literally have to "ice" their old buddies out to prove to their new friends that they're no longer still friends.

That's the kind of stuff I don't find acceptable.

Fine, don't be friends anymore : but stay kind about it.

Be respectful.

Is that too much to ask?

- The Sandbox Virtues by R.J. Palacio

Mahsyar

"Teah banyak sangat dah makan tak halal tu sbb tu flawless"

The first time I heard about this, I was like, "wow okay it's already 2k17 man but we still have these fucked up assholes"

I don't even know you and that is fortunate for you since I can't contact and ask you for explanation but here is a message for you : You better brace yourself for a hella journey during padang mahsyar, merangkak lah you cari I nanti, did you really think it was a joke? A harsh one maybe but kalau dah sampai tabur fitnah, I hope you and your ass better be ready for any consequences followed.

I will not take this entry down as long as that person come forward and apologize, end of story.

To be honest, I tak marah.

I cursed alot and that's because I'm sad.

Somehow when people talk bad things about me, it kills me on the inside.

Sure enough people will say "Don't give a shit about it".

But I'm the kind of person who considers every words people throw at me.

I'm sorry I'm such a soft person but it is what it is.

I've been thinking about this lately and I hope people will understand at the end of the day, you should stop talking about other people and start building your own story to prove the world you are actually living. 

Adios.

Skincare Routine

(Not a paid review hahaha)

Some people keep asking I pakai apa for my face and this is a quick entry about it, so keep reading!

1. Micellar water

Before or after putting on my makeup, I usually guna facial cotton untuk remove any excess dirts guna any micellar water (Garnier, Maybelline, Loreal) As for now I pakai micellar water from Simple. So far I guna not bad lah. Simple brand is good for sensitive skin like mine.

2. Cleanser

For cleanser, I tak pernah tukar. I dari dulu sampai sekarang pakai Cetaphil since it is known for mild soap (soothes the skin). I ada try few local filipino soap bar but then I baca it is not good if you punya cleanser jenis yang akan buat muka you tegang selepas you cuci. If that case happens to you, you should stop using that kind of cleanser. So far, Cetaphil is good! Btw I guna yang oily skin cleanser :)

3. Toner

For toner, before this I guna a toner from Simple. I pakai dalam 2-3 botol. But ever since I pergi Philippines, I asked around what kind of toner should I use sebab cuaca sana panas sangat and kulit I pulak oily gila. They suggested me to use a toner from Cleteque. So yeah, dua dua bagus and I'm not quite sure kalau brand Cleteque ada kat Malaysia.

4. Moisturizer

Siapa cakap kalau oily skin takyah moisturize? Haritu I nampak thread pasal oily skin kat Twitter and perempuan tu cakap for normal skin, you guys pakai moisturizer but for oily skin, you pakai yang hydrating punya. I tak tau details but yeah I tak survey lagi moisturizer or any hydrating products yet so I pakai Vaseline petroleum jelly je sekarang. Last time muka I burned and Alhamdulillah a few days lepas I apply Vaseline, it helped a lot.

5. Sunblock

For sunblock, I usually pakai if I decide to go out without any foundation (since foundation provided SPF). So to protect my skin even without my foundation, I pakai sunblock from Cleteque. This one is really good and can even be used for body. 

So yeah that's all for my skincare routine and my pimple stop growing ever since I paid lot of attention using these products. You can simply find any of these in Malaysia's drugstores (Watsons, Guardian) or Philippines Drugstore (Mercury). Toodles!

Home

Hello everyone! How are you?

It has been a week since I balik dari Philippines (Yes I'm home already!)

Last 2 days I terserempak kawan sekolah and dia cakap "Amboi balik Malaysia tak kasi tahu langsung kenapa?"

(I think I already announced on Facebook and Instagram.......) but whatever haha.

I got home on June 13th but the next day I terus pergi rumah abang kat Penang.

My dad cakap I dengan my mom patut duduk dengan dia for a few days since wife dia and Zahraa takda.

He's a doctor and currently completing his 2 years housemanship in Seberang Jaya Hospital.

To be honest, I kesian tengok keadaan dia.

Dia pergi kerja around 6 am and balik around 6 pm (kalau tak tagging, if tagging, he will get home around 10 pm).

I told this to my parents cakap "Kesian nya kat Abang Ijai, few hours je kat rumah."

and then ayah I cakap "Itulah. Bila kamu kat sana and kami cakap selalu datang rumah dia, kamu kenalah faham."

The moment we got there, kitorang kemas kemas rumah dia.

I don't know why but deep inside I rasa dia lonely and majorly because wife dia balik Terengganu for a week. Ofcourse, dah lah balik kerja penat, tup tup bukak pintu rumah, anak bini takda. No wonder dia mintak my mom and I temankan. At the first place I macam bengang kat dia sebab I baru je balik and dia dah demand I pergi rumah dia. But after tengok keadaan dia, now I understand.

For the first time in a couple of years, we were in the house together.

Complete 5 orang and bila makan sekali, I rasa bersyukur sangat.

For some people, these kind of things macam "eleh family dinner je pun, what's the big deal?"

Do yourself a favor, believe and count your blessings.

I still remember 3 weeks before I got home, I talked to a friend.

I told him I like staying in Manila cause everything is here eg if I want something in urgent, I could simply walk to Ministop at 3 am or I get hungry at 4 am I could actually go to McDonals within 3 mins.

but my friend never understands.

Dia simple cakap "hahahaha just because McDonalds around the corner, you happy duduk situ? Orang lain semua happy duduk Malaysia sebab family dekat"

I terus menangis lepas tu.

I wasn't mad at him, I was disappointed.

He missed the point.

I told him "You should be proud of me. At least I duduk sini takda nak homesick. At least there are few stuffs that make me happy and cara you macam nak cakap I duduk sini tak ingat my own parents"

Friendly reminder you people, you stop talking to understand and digest what other people are saying.

You don't stop talking simply to put on your arguments.

We stop talking to listen, not to be waiting your turn to lash everything you want to say.

Ofcourse, I was happy in Manila.

I didn't mention "Oh how much I miss my parents bla bla"

My parents taught me to grow up without being afraid yang you akan rindukan parents you.

I grow and I learnt, I rindu but I simpan dalam hati without having to mention about it.

Yet some people mungkin ada cara diorang sendiri and I dengan cara I.

The point is still the same, we will always miss our parents and our family but both of us have different ways to show it.

Adios.

Mom <3

My Love // Lee Hi

I miss having dinner with my family.

Where everyone sits around and talking.

My dad usually will be the one who will ask lot of question, I've never seen someone that is really interested in my life as much as he does haha.

Mom usually will ask me if I want more rice.

But I started to remind her not to ask me that question 2 years ago and she respects it until now.

She knows I'm growing up and I know what and when I want something.

I don't know man, I feel so grateful sometimes because my parents are the ones that will never complaint when I actually decide on something without discussing with them.

I guess I actually have already earned their trusts and I have to remind myself not to break it.

They are the most beautiful souls I ever met and my friends told me the same thing.

I guess that's how it works, whenever my friends meet my parents, they could actually get along really well.

God bless both of you and I can't figure out what did I do to deserve both of you guys xx

Moon Lovers

I have just finished watching a korean drama that has been suggested by my friend.

It is called Scarlet Heart : Ryeo.

It took me 3 days to finish the series.

I don't know what to do with my life now.

I asked my brother a while ago if he could actually bought me Harry Style's CD.

I really hope he would actually fulfil my wish cause I really want this for now and I know he is the best brother I ever had (I hope you read this tho)

and I'm thinking of coming back here on June 13th, 13 days after I gone back to Malaysia.

I was invited for the student conference thingy but the thing is, it is during the holy Ramadhan and i'm not sure if it's fine for my mom.

I'm turning 21 this September yet I have so many stuff for now.

Labor Day

I was having dinner with Linda a couple of nights ago.

We actually discussed we things cause at that time both of us were quite frustrated with people around us.

First Rule : Someone else's belonging is his property, not a charity.

I don't get it. If you can't afford something, don't bother asking someone else to provide that stuff for you. Life doesn't work that way. Be grateful of what you have. Linda and I came to the conclusion "Even if we are bestfriend, I'm still gonna respect you and know my limit" That is so true. Most us around here just knew each other like, less than 5 months? Don't act like you know me well and assume that everything gonna be fine when you actually use my stuff for your own good. This is 2017 already and you should by now know your limit.

Second Rule : If people clean the room for you, the least you could do is not to mess it up again.

I was cleaning the room one day with my roomate. The next person entered the room just threw away her shoes or sandals or whatever she was wearing on her feet. My roomate was like "wtf I just cleaned the room" but we decided not to talk about it since IT IS FUCKING 2017 DON'T YOU HAVE MANNERS. Linda and I also talked about this like how some people DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM. I actually cleaned the bathroom few times before and FOR NOW I JUST WAIT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO CLEAN BUT IT HAS BEEN A MONTH AND I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE SO I JUST DECIDED TO CLEAN IT WITH MY ROOMATE. Seriously man, I don't know if the people from your country is as dirty as you. I don't know how some people claim to have a boyfriend when they themselves are dirty type ugh.

Third Rule : Don't counter argument with me.

I hate this. Like, if you wish to counter anything that I just told you, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A STRONG AND VALID ARGUMENT. I ain't gonna waste my time to explain your stupidity ON EVER MATTER YOU DID.

Happy Labor Day everyone & have a good rest xx

Over Again

I don't know if you remember this (Just in case if you read),

but I went to the bakery the one we used to go for breakfast

I ordered my drink and went straight to the second floor,

Too bad the seats we used to have already occupied.

So I chose a table with two seats but it felt strange considering I was alone this time.

Three hours and I realized it was getting dark.

I tried to turn on the study lamp on the table.

It reminded me of you.

The last time we got here you tried so hard to turn on the lamp.

"I paid for this. I deserve to know how it works."

"People are looking at us. They must be wondering who the fuck turn a lamp when it is not dark"

"No. Come on help me"

It was stupid, really.

But I realized I miss those moments, not only that particular moment but all the minutes and second we spent even if it was just for a short time.

Too bad we could never experience all of that over again.