I don't know really.
N texted me last night.
"I rasa I macam ada promise you something. and now I rasa bersalah"
"N it's okay. At least we both know what happened"
Back to 4 months ago
"why do people come and go?"
"diaorang bosan kot."
"somehow i takut pulak kalau u tinggalkan i"
"let's not giving up to each other then"
"okay, let's not giving up to each other"
Tak lama lepas tu N pun blah.
He asked me who's the lucky guy.
I said "H".
"He's so lucky to have you".
He asked me if we could see each other.
I said "Why not. We're friends. You have to buy me food."
Apparently he replied me with this :
"Friends? Ah shoot me Teah."
I have no idea what's that supposed to mean.
Back then you still tak boleh move on, how can I help you?
I pun manusia.
So I pun blah.
Bila N claimed "H is so lucky to have you"
Cause he knows I'm a keeper. I have no ego. I put others first.
Now let's move on to H.
H, you never knew how lucky you are.
I gave you my everything.
I chose you over my friends.
I never cried so bad before.
I tak tau sampai bila I boleh stand so strong for you, I pun manusia H.
It's like you're fine without me whereas I kat sini trying so hard to save myself for you.
I hope you're doing the same thing.
I hope we last, I hope we do.
But if we don't, this is how I want you to remember me.
I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeats.
Remember me laughing at your stupid jokes.
Remember me in hysterics for no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I'd recover.
Remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable only for you though.
Remember me happy and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention.
If it comes to it I don't want you to remember the ending.
Remember the beginning.
I want you to remember the first time you knew me H.